Friday, October 8, 2010

A Name in a Book I Don't Read Anymore



Friend of a wayward hour, you came
Like some good ghost, and went the same;
And I within the haunted place
Sit smiling on your vanished face,
And talking with--your name.
-J.W Riley

What's in a name? Is it just a random word, some random sound that you've been trained to respond to since birth? Doesn't it bother you that you never got a say in picking something that you'd literally live with and even die with? What's in a name, past that meaning, past that definition it gives your life, past that funny sound? Well...

Everything. 

Your name is your identity. It's the one thing that goes the places you go. It makes answering the 'Who are you?' question a bit easier. It's your phantom siamese twin. A one-one mapping, so to speak. It's your imprint on this world. After all, your physical presence isn't as universal as you think. Your legacy- it's all out there next to a funny bunch of letters on a gargantuan list, you know. And yeah, that funny bunch of letters? Your name.

But then again, your name isn't only yours to cherish. 

Let's look at it this way. Any given word- How many memories do you have associated with it? For example, in my case, the word 'chair' brings back memories of a Model UN and the chair of my committee. Surprisingly enough it drags along everything related to that particular event. The train ride to Delhi, the penthouse, the food, the conversations, the people...

Now you get it, don't you?

A name can mean a lot more than just your identity. Maybe it's someone else's keyword, a word they associate with their memories of a very specific person.

You.

Every mention of a name brings with it a plethora of instances- Pleasant, unpleasant, fun, boring, awesome, unforgettable, embarrassing. Unique for every person. Wow. There's so much!

And to think a name was no big deal. Naive, no?

You could forget everything else, but all it takes is a name to bring back that rush of memories you thought you'd detached yourself from forever.

I think I've forgotten the name, but then again I know that it's somewhere out there and that it's going to bring it all back to me. I fear the day that's going to happen but it's bound to happen, I'm sure.

I guess I'll have to wait it out patiently, keep my fingers crossed and hope it takes a while...

But yeah, till then, those names. That name.
They're all just names in a book I don't read anymore.